The hardest part of hurt

In Uncategorized on April 8, 2014 at 2:06 am

When I’m hurt, I find myself caught in the moment and it seems that the breathless emotional pain will never subside completely. I believe that I will always bear the weight of that feeling. This seems to be worst part of being emotionally wounded.

But, right now, I am realizing that the hardest part of being hurt is to resist the urge to be bitter. Up until this moment, I had no working definition for bitter until I was faced with the ugliness of how I feel. Bitterness is being so fond of the hurt that I want to inflict that same pain on others. Instead of healing and getting out of the pit, bitterness wants to drag others into the pit with me.

I’m having to beat back the desire to be bitter so much so that I cannot mention the topic of my hurt because I know the itch, the urge would begin to spill over. My words would be a heat-seeking missile bent on destroying the energy, the hope, the positivity of others. I would completely reverse the Golden Rule; I would do unto others as others have previously done unto me.

I am placing all my chips on–putting all my eggs in the basket of–laying it all on–hope. I am thinking of all the things written of hope (both the corny and the true). Hope springs eternal. Anyone who is among the living has hope. I have one (probably slightly selfish) hope: that by refusing to let bitterness wash over me, I can change the tide just a little and that my life won’t drown in anger and unforgiveness. Maybe I can do unto others as I would have those others do unto me.

  1. I have the same fear. However personally for me my writing especially my poems are my therapy. I have to write out the hurt in order to ride out the pain. The more I release through writing the more uplifted I feel, like the negativity draws out of me onto paper or my blog and then that way I am free to smile/be full of light afterwards. The more I more I write the less the bitterness gets a chance to take over. If I don’t let it out I find thoughts fester and grow and thats when I get bitter. Hope you find a healthy outlet. My fav quote “holding onto anger is like holding a hot coal with the intent to throw it at someone, you are the one that gets burned’ ~ Buddha xx

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