Woman loves self, internet outraged

In Uncategorized on January 27, 2014 at 6:37 am

Forgive my use of made-up curse words.

Ermergag. I am so tired, so tired of the internet imploding every time a woman loves herself. No, no. It’s not even that revolutionary. The internet implodes when a woman is herself. Jennifer Someone without makeup? Egad! Some lady smiling while sitting on the beach? Yikes! Woman quits job/keeps job/gets job; woman cuts hair/wears weave/uses curling iron; woman shows too much skin/not enough skin. Woman leans in; woman works out!

We must, we must, we must talk about it. Reflect on it. What does this mean to femininity? What does this mean to feminism? Doesn’t she know who she is? Who does she think she is? Doesn’t she know how she looks? Doesn’t she know how we think she looks?

Yes, it all comes down to looks. At least on the internet, often times. And the snark is nauseating. There is snark from all sides. Every woman gets a snootful of mean talk. Much of it from other women. But, it all starts at home. It starts with how we talk about ourselves. Each of my female social media friends generally have a picture or two in which she bemoans her waistline, her leg length, her butt size, her cheekbones, her hair, her lips, her breasts…..something is inevitably not quite right. I have several myself.

And, it’s sick. The way we cut ourselves down and expect each other to meet this same cutting self-talk. Then, we reinforce the standard by aiming cutting talk (sometimes known as shade) at other women. And, yes, it is a symptom of patriarchal dominance. After all, in the patriarchy, the archetype is always that the pretty girl gets the worm (so to speak). But, in the patriarchal archetype, she is more than pretty. She is perfect. Therefore, she is desired. So, she gets love and, presumably, fulfillment.

The perfect is the enemy of the good here, as it is in so many other situations.

You are not perfect. I hate to break this to you, but you will never be perfect. Because you were never meant to be perfect.

So, can we all admit to our stretch marks, freckles, frizzies, fly aways, scars (physical and emotional), dry skin, split ends, bitten nails, short eyelashes, patchy eyebrows, knobby knees, big feet, crooked teeth, crow’s feet, wrinkles, double chins, low cheekbones, high foreheads, flat butts, small breasts, plump butts, large breasts, round waists, flat tummies?

Can we all admit to these things as natural–not perfect–but well within what’s natural?

And, can we use acceptance when talking about our own bodies as well as the bodies of others? That would be truly wonderful! Women would be able to hear love and fulfillment from the words and actions of other women. Then, maybe the internet wouldn’t seize up every time a woman appears comfortable in her own skin.


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