EXTRA! SO VERY EXTRA!

#Fitspo Rant

In and other uncomfortable topics, First World Problems, Somewhat disjointed rant... on August 12, 2013 at 3:53 am

#fitspo

It’s all over Instagram and Twitter. It’s short for fitspiration, which in turn is short for fitness inspiration. It’s all about being healthy and physically fit.

Or, so I thought.

I’m nearly 5’10” and I weigh 173 pounds today. My weight hovers between 170 and 180 pounds. I’m not a small woman.  Through my mid-twenties, I was very thin. Not because I exercised, merely a result of a high-stress and hyper personality. Then, I got up to 200 pounds when I turned 25 and stayed there for a year or so. A combination of a very controlled diet, plenty of cardio exercise, a high stress working environment, and a hyper profession that didn’t allow any time for random snacking saw me drop down to 120 pounds by the time I was 27.

Thaaaaat’s not healthy. Just ain’t. May sound nice. You may think it’s nice. But, it wasn’t. My skin was dull, my hair was falling out….you get the picture. But, since the time I lost all that weight, I have been concerned about my weight and size in a way that I never was before. During this summer, I made the decision to make healthier eating choices and to pursue a more active lifestyle.

Buuuuuuuut, it’s soooooooo hard (in a first world problems kind of way). I need #fitspo! I signed up for Instagram where #fitspo and #fitspiration abound! Pictures of lovely bodies. Pictures of healthy meals with abbreviated recipes in the comments. Videos and pictures of various workout moves. I even watch the occasional radical weight loss reality show!

But, I can’t. I literally just cannot deal. Is #fitspo motivation or judgment? #Fitspo is the latest example of something promising starting to go wrong.

1. What the bloody blazes is a cheat meal? I look at some of these pictures of cheat meals and think……wait, that’s my HEALTHY meal! Since when is a SMOOTHIE a cheat meal? Since when is salsa a cheat meal? Salsa is made of vegetables and good feelings and unicorn tears.  I seriously ate salsa with cut up cucumbers (instead of pita chips) last night and thought, this is a good cheat snack. I realized last night that I have a problem.

2. Let me tell you something….that thigh gap I had when I was 12? It ain’t coming back. It’s gone. My thighs are roommates. Even when I weighed 120 pounds, I HAD NO THIGH GAP. Shut up about the thigh gap. Not everyone is built to have a thigh gap. Furthermore, no one is pushing pics of dudes with thigh gaps, and men have more of a reason to have a thigh gap.

3. I ENJOY the taste of wine. I ENJOY the bright spiciness of beef salad. I ENJOY lemon mint water. I ENJOY chocolate soy smoothies. I ENJOY bonding with friends over a delicious, healthy meal. I do NOT enjoy panicking about what I am going to eat every time some one invites me out to eat.

4. Fit looks different on every body. How did I come to the conclusion that I wasn’t fit? Walking up multiple flights of stairs was difficult. Moving around in the increasing heat of summer was more troublesome than it was last year. My clothes were “shrinking.” I was tired all of the time.

I am clearly in a fitspo funk. Sigh.

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  1. […] have been lots of media outlets flooded with this message: WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE? The fitspo category is flooded with this message. But, it’s not just fitspo. Politics, religion, […]

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