Archive for March, 2013|Monthly archive page

To love myself…

In Encouragement, R[evol]ution, Somewhat disjointed rant... on March 18, 2013 at 4:22 am

I’m on this journey to love myself. Really love–and not just the cool stuff (like I’m smart or I have great eyesight), but the not so cool stuff. To come straight to the point, I can cut myself all kinds of slack on personality flaws. But, I can be unrelentingly critical when it comes to my body–in suits, in jeans, in formal wear, in bathing suits, and fresh out of the shower.

I’ve been intentional about being more loving and kind to my body. I bought several Kindle books, including Be Less Crazy About Your Body by Megan Dietz. I thought that I needed to lose weight. Eat better. Exercise more. Yes, yes, yes. I could stand to do all of those things. And, I’ve done all of those things before. In my adult life, I’ve always been 5 feet and 9 inches tall and I’ve weighed everything between 120 and 200 pounds, inclusive. I’ve never been satisfied with my body. That’s not fair to me, to my body, to God, or to the people around me. Having never been satisfied with myself, how could I extend or foster satisfaction in others?

The slowly unfolding answer revealed itself by surprise: eczema. I have eczema on my hands and feet that gets really annoying during the winter. This year, I was determined to avoid the cold weather flare up. In the end, I decided I would have to do better by all of my skin: all lotions would have to be natural and use shea butter rather than petroleum as a main moisturizing agent. I forced myself to make time to moisturize all of my skin each day.

I am face-to-face daily with the leviathan: my body. I realized that it isn’t so bad….it’s not perfect…but, it’s pretty. And, I’m getting more used to me, and more comfortable with myself each day.