EXTRA! SO VERY EXTRA!

Heartbreak Redux: Permission to Heal

In Encouragement on October 27, 2012 at 6:01 am

Your Permission Slip

Yesterday, I gave myself permission to feel heartbreak and pain. I didn’t run from it. I didn’t scold myself for not “being happy.” I didn’t try to talk it out with someone else. I just felt it; I walked around in it; I saw what it was made of. I realized that it was full of shame, sadness, helplessness, and hopelessness. Then, I gave myself to permission to walk away and feel something else.

Remember back in the day when you wanted to go on a field trip? Remember that permission slip your parent had to sign? Without that permission slip, you couldn’t go anywhere. Even if your parent was willing for you to go, if s/he forgot to sign that permission slip….the jig was up. The same thing goes for the healing process in adulthood–except that you are the one with the power to extend permission to yourself.

I believe that I am going through something very much like the five stages of grief — except for friendships. There is no right way to grieve. There is no time frame within which a loss must stop hurting. There is no time frame within which life melds back together. Indeed, for some people life never does meld back together. But, if that is where you are…I give you permission to be there if you won’t  give yourself permission. I give you permission to be sad sometimes. I give you permission to have a day during which you do not mourn or grieve. I give you permission to want to have fun with your friends. I give you permission to make new friends. I give you permission to want time alone.

This may sound a little far-fetched, but I honestly feel like God gave me permission yesterday to give myself permission to be at a place of pain in my emotions. I could have chosen to go for a run, or eat chocolate, or get on the phone, or play solitaire…in an attempt to feel something different. I was at that place for a purpose. Maybe the purpose was so that I’d write this post. Maybe the purpose was so that I would understand Moore’s words: “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.”

Or, maybe I was supposed to give you a permission slip. And, it’s blank 🙂

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  1. […] about what I need to hear on days when I feel hopeless, burned out, and used up. Days like today. Yesterday, I gave myself permission to walk away from pain. But, I wasn’t vigilant enough. You see, pain is a sneaky thing. It’s like a lioness […]

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