EXTRA! SO VERY EXTRA!

Substitute Curse Words…

In Encouragement, First World Problems, Law School Problems, Lawyer Problems, Somewhat disjointed rant... on September 28, 2012 at 5:01 am

Yes. I have a problem with my mouth. I shall not offer you any excuses. I need to come up with catchy substitutes, though. I don’t LIKE cursing. I KNOW better. It’s not lady-like!

Someone might be tempted to point out the fact that a substitute is not necessarily better than the word itself. My response: imagine I’m behind you and your youngest child/nephew/niece/sibling/mentee/babysitting charge in line at Target. Would you prefer me to yell out “OH, SMURF” if I fall or would you prefer “OH, %!@*#”??? Hmmm??? Yeah, I thought so.

Try out some of these for yourself by filling in the blank: “Who in the _____ let you wear that blouse with those shoes?”

1. Smurf
2. Toola-Roola
3. Ken doll
4. Wide, wide world of sports
5. Blazing Saddles
6. Mel Brooks
7. Huxtable
8. Zuckerberg
9. Cameron Diaz
10. Dita Von Teese
11. Wocka Flocka
12. Flaming glass of whiskey sour
13. Bananas in pajamas
14. Snuffleupagus
15. Lynrd Skynrd
16. One if by land, two if by sea
17. Road Less Traveled
18. Bean Porridge
19. Technicolor
20. Python Print Leggings
21. Inego Montoya

I’m personally partial to #1, #15, and #19. Feel free to steal one of my technicoloring awesome substitutes for your own use.

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