EXTRA! SO VERY EXTRA!

30 Things for 31

In Encouragement, First World Problems, Somewhat disjointed rant..., Thoughts on Christianity on September 23, 2012 at 8:02 am

Thirty was a bittersweet year. I mean that literally. Have you ever had bittersweet chocolate or a glass of good champagne? Bittersweetness has a tangy bite that quickly spreads to the back of your throat and a smooth sweetness up front. Being 30 was like that, and 31 is shaping up to be the same. Did someone say champagne? Here are 30 thoughts flying around in my head at the beginning of my 31st year.

30. Use your money. Don’t just spend it. Give 10% to a good cause, save 10%, pay your bills and then USE the rest. To use your money, only shop at quality establishments and only buy quality products….but when you find quality use your money to support it. Urban Outfitters? Meh. Second Generation Importers of designer African apparel? Yes, please!

29. This is gonna sound way frilly, but you need a signature scent. Whether it’s deodorant, body spray, soap, toothpaste, or lotion…you should have a scent that you love. Emotions are closely tied to our sense of smell (ergo, aromatherapy). Your scent should remind you of YOU! Me, I’m deep into the spice game: myrrh, frankincense, lavender, patchouli and sandalwood.

28. There is one thing that you don’t need more of. For me, it’s handbags and lip gloss. Sometimes, I’m trolling the cosmetic aisle, and I think, “Really, heffa? You need lip gloss like another hole in your head.” Identify your item and make a conscious effort to cut back.

27. Comfortable shoes! I’m about that life. I mean…..they HAVE TO be cute, too. I intend to make it to the grave with these same clodhoppers in good working order. Chicken George said if a tree ain’t got no roots, you ain’t got no tree. Well, what happens if you ain’t got good feet? Huh?

26. Buy clothes in the correct size. Not too big. Not too small. You deserve a tailored look. Plus, whatever you THINK you’re hiding with the wrong size is not being hidden. Everyone knows.

25. Politics is the opiate of the American masses. Marx said religion was the opiate of the masses. Dude, an ambassador was KILLED and we’re still talking Todd Akin? Seriously? Politics: opiate. Boom: done. Opiates numb the pain of what’s REALLY wrong. Opiates stimulate your mind and starve your body. Politics: opiate.

24. Rudeness is never the answer. People remember getting snubbed the way they remember Christmas. No lie. Be sharp, be to the point, but be courteous.

23. Woodsboro Baptist Church needs to SHUT UP. The KKK is AGAINST them. I am against them. Woodsboro made ME AGREE WITH THE KKK. Moreover, the KKK has protested against Woodsboro, but 700 Club et al haven’t said much. Something is really wrong with that. Woodsboro doesn’t speak for Christians….and certainly not for Jesus. I’m really pretty hacked off that I was forced to agree with the KKK.

22. You know what kills jealousy? Honesty. I’ve had a few people of whom I’ve been jealous. I had the good sense to tell a couple of them how I felt. Amazingly, exposing jealousy and envy will kill them.

21. Heartbreak heals. I promise. But, you have to treat it like you would a sprain: a little rest and then you have to start going back to your regular schedule of life. You may temporarily be unable to achieve a certain range of emotion, but it will come back.

20. Horoscopes? Really? C’mon, son. I will narrowly agree with you that, because our bodies are mostly water and the moon affects water, the moon ergo can affect our bodies and moods. Narrowly agree.

19. You voted for Obama just because he’s Black and you’re Black? Really? C’mon, son. Dr. King said that America needs to get to a place where people are not judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. You should vote for a candidate because you agree with his/her politics. It is super cool that my candidate is also Black, but I happen to agree with most of his politics.

18. “Bettah come back down from Mars. Gul, quit chasin cars. What happens when the dough gets low, ’cause you ain’t that fine no way! No way!” I’m from Atlanta, and therefore I am required to quote Outkast from memory at a moment’s notice. More important is the truth of the quote. I know you’re cute, sis. It doesn’t last, though. Invest into your talents and education the way you invest in your looks.

17. Your family is who your family is. Period. Every family has a portion of dysfunction.

16. Love doesn’t hurt and it isn’t selfish. Period. A person who loves you shouldn’t feel an impetus to “try to make you better.” What is this? Pygmallion? Ugh. A person who loves may well inspire you to be better and support you in your efforts at self-improvement. Moreover and for the record, co-equals in a relationship do not discipline each other like children. A loving eros relationship does not involve physical discipline, timeout, or the silent treatment as a frequent characteristic.

15. Share an encouraging word at any time. At all times. From the most genuine part of yourself. If you can’t be encouraging, you need to stop and go find time and space to be encouraged.

14. Gut impressions are usually correct. Not necessarily first impressions. But, those deep, down, intuitive vibrations that you have about someone….trust that.

13. Keep your eye on someone who talks too much. No offense to those of you who talk a lot, but…..I always wonder if super-talkative people are trying to cover up something, trying to distract me from something, or trying to keep me from saying something.

12. Keep your eye on someone who is NOT in the military or law enforcement, but carries a gun all the time. Again, no offense to those of you who stay packing, but when I was kid a person in my neighborhood only carried a gun if s/he needed a gun. Never have I ever in 31 years been trolling my local Home Depot and thought, “Damn. If only I’d had a gun….”
11. For real, if you have to walk your dog with a chain instead of a leash….you may want to rethink your fitness to own THAT dog.

10. I have very few regrets about things I’ve said or done. I have more regrets about things I left unsaid or undone.

9. I’m a Southerner; I have a Southern accent; I’m a Black Southerner with a Southern accent. I’m from the land of hospitality, fried chicken, and lost causes. I know what it’s like to be in the minority AND in the majority. I’ll go toe to toe with anyone of any color from any part of the world. Go ahead, judge me by my accent. Go ahead, judge me by my skin color. When life leaves you inthe dust, you’ll know how much your judgment was worth.

8. You’re looking for money? Good luck with that, and let me know when you find it. Last time I talked to Bill Gates, he told me money wasn’t missing. What you need to find are dreams, hopes, talents, gifts, and education.

7. One woman’s ex is another woman’s future.

6. Laugh hard, loud, and uncontrollably AT LEAST once a day.

5. Sticks, stones, and words can inflict similar amounts of pain….just in different ways.

4. A friendship lost is a lesson learned. Just make sure you actually learn the lesson.

3. Speaking in tongues is not about what comes out of your mouth, it’s about what’s going on between you and God.

2. C’mon, son. Which one is it? Single and satisfied? Single and sexy….!? Ugh. I have to la boom vent suite 🙂 on this one. If I hear one more TIRED cliche about single women, I’m gonna….well….I’m gonna BLOG about it. For real, what does this mean: “A woman should be so wrapped up in God that a man has to search for God to find her.” What? I have so many questions re: that quote (or whatever variation you prefer). I’m really not sure what that means. It sounds REALLY cool and awesome, but in application does it mean that if I am not in a relationship that I’m not wrapped up in God enough…? Jesus said “Love the Lord….love thy neighbor.” THOSE are the big two commandments. Wrapped up….? I just…I can’t. More blog coming later re: this.

1. You are the clay; God is the potter. Life is the potter’s hands, expertly shaping you. God is everywhere, all at once. His fingerprints are in the skies, on the trees, within the calls of the birds. Life is about embracing God. I don’t say “finding God”….because He isn’t lost. Life is about coming to terms with the fact that He is everywhere and that He is near at all times. He’s near, but you have to embrace Him.

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