EXTRA! SO VERY EXTRA!

Woman, thou art taken down a notch!

In Love and Romance, Somewhat disjointed rant... on September 13, 2012 at 3:29 am

I’m a catch! Heck, yeah. I got it all going on, you know what I’m saying!? I set a high standard and deserve a man who meets that standard.

In the words of Outkast: BETTAH COME BACK DOWN FROM MARS! The sad fact is that I have walked around with that attitude, I do walk around with that attitude, and I will probably have this attitude again in the future.

My awesome, wonderful boyfriend gets the dangerous end of that attitude every time I have it. I criticize. I nit-pick. I nag. I pout. I examine every single thing he does and measure it against an egotistical standard that I don’t meet myself.

Today, life slapped me up-side the head. I realized that the only standard that means anything is love/compassion/honesty. Life doesn’t owe me anything, so everything I have is valuable. My relationship/partnership with my boyfriend is an addition to my life, and he is giving just as much as I am. He is just as much of a catch as I am.

The bottom line is that there is a difference between self-esteem and self-delusion. My MARS attitude is not self-esteem, and it comes awfully close to deluding myself out of a healthy relationship.

Maybe this post has no point, other than reminding me that I am wonderfully human….nothing more and nothing less.

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  1. […] 4. Independence as a problem. The author of the rant says independence “spells nothing but trouble for a brother who’s in the know. Because relationships are a team sport. And nobody wants a ball-hogging player on their team always trying to steal the spotlight.” Independence is one thing and being a turd is another. Unless I’m very wrong, team sports require individuals who can both act independently and act as part of a team. A quarterback has to know how to pass the ball, but s/he damn sure better know how to run the ball if s/he’s gotten stuck in the pocket. Before I met my boyfriend (and even when we were just colleagues/friends), I had my own politics, my own relationship with God, my own money, my own fashion sense, and my own -ness. For the record, he had his own, too. It would be completely ridiculous for me to ask him to give up his -ness for something that makes me more comfortable and vice versa. Again, I am all for my man having his independence, but at the same time I expect him not to be a turd. Selfishness, unreliability, non-communicativeness, and disrespect have nothing to do with being independent and everything to do with being a turd. I’ll be honest–I have my moments of being a turd. […]

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